Please
by Korny247
Summary: A secret affair.A broken heart. And a broken vampire. Will she ever be healed or will she have to live forever with her broken heart? OOC,AU
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is just a bit of a filler. I wrote it before Everybody's Fool but this will be on hiatus for a while so don't ask for more.**

**Disclaimer: Twilight and all characters belong to one happy and oblivious Stephanie Meyer who I find to be a very weird woman. But whatever, I digress. And now to the story!**

Chapter 1

She was throwing her clothes on rather quickly. She always did when we finished having sex. I just wish she'd look me in the eye without that look of guilt she always had. "Bella?" I whimpered. "Bella?" I whimpered again "Can you please just look at me? Bella goddammit!" She slowed in her hurried rush but she never turned to face me. "What is it Alice?" she replied wearily.

"Can you please just look at me?" I begged. She turned around "What?" she spat at me. "I love-""Alice please don't start that shit again with me please!" She shouted whilst cutting me off completely . "You know I love Edward. You're just a convenient fuck until I marry him. I told you that when we started this. Why do you insist on making all of this so fucking difficult?" I stared at her glumly. "Cuz I love you Bells. You know that. I don't know why I can't let this go. All I know is… I love you."

She turned away from me. Refusing to meet my eye. "You know I can't love you Alice. I really love Edward with all my heart and I just don't have room for anyone else." "Then why'd you sleep with me?" I questioned with an eyebrow raised. "Why'd you fuck with me like that? Fuck with my heart? You know I love you and I thought you loved me. But I don't think you love me if you're willing to do this to us." She looked up at me then. "You know I love you Alice-"I cut her off. "No. please Bella don't say those words to me. Don't tell me you love me if you don't fucking mean it. And I don't think I should allow you to say my name again if you're going to be like this."

She looked at me then with a hurt expression on her face. "Alice-"she started but I interrupted again" No Bella you do not get to say my name. Not when you've fucked me over completely. I fucking loved you. Ok? But after today I don't believe it's conducive to either of us if I speak to you again Bella."

I turned away from her, disgusted with myself for letting it go on so long when I knew she could never love me. "Just finished getting dressed and get the fuck out Bella. I don't think I can stand seeing you again after today." "Alice" She whispered. "Get the fuck out." I told her venomously. "I really don't want to see you right now." "Or ever again." I added after a slight pause. I really could care less how she felt at this moment. I was just hurting too much right now to care.

She finished getting dressed and left the room silently. But before she exited through the door she gave me one last lingering look that I decided to ignore. I felt the tears build up behind my eyes. I sincerely wished I could cry but vampires can't can they? But they could surely feel their own heart break. I sat there sobbing quietly. I reached up to wipe my face, a habit from my human years I guess, and was totally surprised when something wet came back on my hands. I looked down and saw a red trail falling down my hand. Shit. I guess a vampire can cry when their heart breaks bad enough.

I sat there wishing she would come back. Because as much as I know that I had thrown her out and as much as I had known that she had used and hurt me, she was still my best friend you know? I really wanted her back. Even if it was just to give me a hug or stroke my back and tell me it would be all ok, I knew she wouldn't. Because everything would not be ok. And she would not be coming back.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: So this is the second chapter. I hope you weren't too mad about the first one to not continue reading this. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight but if Stephanie Meyers was selling the rights I'd be all over it like white on rice. **

Chapter 2

"Alice are you ok?" Jasper asked me obviously feeling my distress. I looked over at him. "Really? You have to ask? I thought you were an empath?" I told him in monotone voice. He looked sheepishly at me. "Sorry, but isn't that what people normally asked their distressed family?" I sighed. "Yeah Jasper, I guess. But I just don't really feel like being nice right now either." He gave me a once over before he started sending waves of calm my way." Stop that Jasper!" I yelled at him. He looked at me sheepishly again before he stopped trying to calm me down. "Ok. But can you please tell me what has you feeling this way?"

I looked over at him before I sighed once more. "If I tell you can you promise me you'll keep everything you heard away from Edward? If he finds out he just might kill me once and for all." Jasper's eyes bugged out. "What could you have possibly down that would make Edward want to hurt you?" I gave him a pointed look. He took a second before his eyes bugged out again. "Alice." He gasped "You didn't!" I nodded at him. "But Alice you know how possessive he is! Why in the world would you do something so fucking risky?" I hung my head down now ashamed. "Because I was blinded by my love and desire for her." I told him. "And because I just really wanted her Jasper. I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't take having to love her from afar."

He looked down at me with a sympathetic look in his eyes, nodding as I told him. "Ok. But what does that have to do with you being so distressed?" He asked me, clearly wanting to know. "I told her how I really felt Jasper. And well-" I looked away from him choking on the way the memory of what had happened that made me feel this way. He nodded waiting for me to finish with what was painfully clear to him. "And well she didn't take it well and I told her I never wanted to see her again. And she left me Jasper, and now I miss her." My hands clasped my shoulders as I tried to calm myself down. He replaced my hands now with his and he used his powers to relax me. I let him as I tried to push away the memory of what had taken place that had been on replay in my head.

"Alice, of course I'll keep this from Edward. I love you too much to ever let him hurt you. You know you're my favorite person after Natalie. So you know I'll never let him know or hurt you. I love you Alice" I nodded my head. Of course I knew Jasper would keep this secret for me. He was my favorite brother and my best friend. "Thanks Jasper. Just don't ever think about what I told you ever again." He nodded. "I'll try" he said. "Thank you" I told him.

"So what are you gonna do now?" he asked me. "I don't know Jasper. I really don't know." He kneeled down until he was eye level in front of me. "Well whatever you choose to do you know I'll always be there for you right?" I nodded thankful for his support. I guess all that I had left to do now was to choose what I was going to do with myself.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Do not own. Blahdeybly blah blah….. Stephanie Meyers… blah… enjoy**

**Chapter 3**

"Please Alice dear think about what you**'**re doing." I looked at the woman I had called my mother for the last half century. "All I want to do is take some time off for myself Esme. When the boys did nobody had a problem." The others looked around the room guiltily. They knew I was right. When Jasper and Edward had gone to find themselves all they had to do was tell Esme or Carlisle and they could be on their merry way. I told Esme and she called a goddamn family meeting.

"Look all I want is some time to myself. I won't be gone forever and I won't start eating humans but I need to leave and go somewhere I can think without being mind-raped or have my emotions broadcasted." Jasper and Edward both visibly flinched at my words. "Esme all I want in my existence is to be happy. I just need to spend time figuring that out away from everyone." "I understand that Alice but does it have to be right now?" she asked me. "Yes." Was my taut reply. "If I see anything of importance I'll call. But otherwise you guys should be safe."

"And where will you be going?" Rosalie asked me haughtily. "Jamaica" I replied. "Jamaica?" Emmett asked confused. I could see it in the face of the others as well except for Jasper and Natalie. " Yes Jamaica. Natalie is letting me use her house there. It's not a bad you'd think from what she told me. It rains a lot down there and if I leave now I can get there by night fall. I'll be pretty isolated in the Blue Mountains. Nobody but me and a few farmers." "Yes, but who'll be keeping an eye out for you dear?" Esme asked me. "Natalie's sister" Edward told her. She looked at me and I nodded. "Her name is Samantha. Don't worry she'll keep Alice safe" Natalie told them. They all looked at her for further explanation. "She's an elemental vampire. If Alice was in danger she could burn them or if it was sunny she could cause a storm. My sister has a lot of ways to destroy someone. So don't worry Alice will be ok."

I nodded. I had seen that we would get along well and perhaps become really close friends. At least I would have someone to talk to. "Is that all you guys have to ask?" they looked around once more. I knew no one would say anything so I had turned to leave. I had already packed my bags into the car. "What about the wedding?" asked the voice I had hoped I wouldn't have to hear again. I stopped but I didn't look back into the living room. I knew if I did I wouldn't be able to prevent my thoughts from going back to when she was mine but for a small moment. "I gave all the information to Natalie. From now on she'll do all the planning." With that I walked out and into the garage to my car. As I drove out of Forks all I could think about was the fact that no one had seen my tears.

**A/N: ok to catch you up Alice have decided to leave Forks to get away from Bella**. **Natalie is Jasper's mate and she's from Jamaica. She has a power but that will be revealed later. Natalie and Samantha are blood sisters from Jamaica's slave days. The Blue Mountains are pretty isolated and occupied only by farmers. Jamaica has a rainy season like any tropical area so Alice will be good should she want to show herself to any human. She needs to escape Edward regardless because she knows she will never be able to stop thinking about Bella so it's also for her safety as well. But no worries our girls will end up together again. Eventually. I think. As for what Natalie and Samantha look like think young Jennifer Beals and Freema Agyeman respectively.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Question. Should I have Alice get back with Bella or should she be allowed to find love in the arms of someone else?**

I was staring off into nothing again. All I had been doing since I got to Jamaica was thinking about her. I had to sneak away from Samantha to actually have time to brood. Since I've arrived here, she's been keeping me nothing but busy. I like her. She's funny. I'm sure if she came anywhere near Natalie between the two of them I would die again just from laughing. But even she couldn't keep **her** off my mind. I was turning into Edward.

I can't get the thought of her out of my head. Why had I been so self- deluded? When I went into it I knew she was using me. But like every mistress out there I had made the fatal mistake of thinking they would leave the other person. I had been in love with her for so long though. I had thought she had finally seen it. That she could see my love for her. But she just took my love. And like a fool I gave it to her.

But her scent. Her taste. Her touch. They were all so addicting. If anything my affair made me all the more addicted. I was like a junky receiving more heroin. I kept injecting her into my veins, with the faint hope she could bring me to life once more. And by the gods she did. Every single time. But it was all just me. She had felt never felt the same. I was just her scratching post where she could satisfy her itch. I was such a fool.

"You know if you brood about her any longer I'm going have to send you back to Natalie."

I heard Samantha's British accented voice behind me. The first time I heard her speak I was taken back a bit. I guess I expected to hear her speak in patois like everyone else I had come across so far but she explained to me that she had spent three hundred years in England. Natalie had stayed on the island in all that time.

"Yeah I know. I just can't help myself. I need time to grieve I guess."

She nodded as she sat down next to me.

"I know what you mean love. I had that happen to me one time. Not in that exact order but I did fall for someone I knew I shouldn't have. It hurt like a mother when they left me. But I got over it. After a century or two."

She bumped me with her shoulder. "You hungry ?" I nodded. My throat was aching with an intensity I never felt before. And we ran.


	5. Chapter 5

"Maybe I should join the Volturi." I told her while we were watching the sunset.

"Maybe I should jump into a large fire." She retorted. "Why would you want to join those arses?"

"Because what's the point anymore? It's not like I'll get the girl in the end."

Sam cocked her head to the side and studied me for a moment. I kept my head forward straight at the setting sun. I knew what she was thinking. We've really been talking about this for three months. She's knows all my arguments and I still won't shut up.

"Alice. What has this girl done to you?" she asked me quietly.

I didn't answer. I was thinking about the first time I saw Bella. I knew she was going to be there that day when we entered the cafeteria. I had already seen her and knew that I loved her and also knew I never had a chance. Because Eddie the ever present mind rapist just happened to be standing net to me when I saw it. But I was still looking forward to seeing her for that first time. When we entered the cafeteria I could spot her straight away. She was looking over at us as she asked Jessica who we were. But our eyes connected for jus the briefest moments before my beloved brother walked in. With attitude of course. How else would he get noticed? And in that moment I knew I lost.

Why did I have to be so nice to her? I could have pulled a Rosalie but I thought that was a little too much for a girl who hadn't done anything to us. _Yet. _But now it was too late and with all my decisions my visions never thought to forewarn me.

Mostly I just wish I could regret it. But I can't because like I fool _I still loved her._ Natalie's sister Samantha had been kind to me since I arrived and I couldn't properly thank her for putting up with me. I finally turned to her.

"She made me love her. That's what."

She quirked an eyebrow at me. Of all the accents I've ever come across I think Sam's is my favorite. It was a cross between high society English and soft Jamaican patois. Hidden by years of experience unless you had a fine tuned ear. But right now she was studying.

"And there's no one else who catches your fancy?"

"Sam. You know I've mated. It's fucking Edward that's the problem. Because he knew I already claimed her then he fucking stole her form me."

"And now you're on a self-imposed exile so you don't take her even though you've already had her?"

"Yeah now I know how human drug users feel. It's not like I can slap a big Bella patch on my arm and suddenly quit her."

"Yeah. Well that fucking sucks. I feel for you mate, I really do but now I'm a bit nippish and I was planning on catching something if you don't mind."

"No, no. it's ok. You don't have to sit through the Alice show again tonight."

"Not that you're not simply edible, because darling you truly are but I have to head out before I eat one these farmer instead of their livestock."

And with those words she left and I was once again left to my own devices. Three months and I still couldn't let go. I can never let go. She's my fucking mate but does that matter in this fucked up world I seem to occupy? Nope. The mind wanderer gets to swoop in and _dazzle _her to death before I even get the chance. Whoopee. It's so good to be me.

_**Victoria and Edward are facing each other in the field. Bella is hidden by a large bolder watching them both fearfully. Edward rushes forward to tackle Victoria and she jumps over him and gets his neck before she lands. With a simple jerk she tears his head off and tosses it to the ground. Another vampire a male with brown hair and red eyes comes out and grabs Edward's remains together before setting it on fire. Victoria sniffs the air and smirks her head now turned to Bella's direction. Bella is frozen, wide-eyed at Victoria who speeds in front of her. "I win." She whispers before lunging forward and biting Bella's throat. She drains Bella dry and with Bella's blood dripping down her chin she laughs.**_

Well that was lovely.


	6. Chapter 6

"_Carlisle?" _

"_Hey sweetie what going on? How's the vacation treating you?"_

"_I'm good. But I need to ask you a few questions."_

I was pacing back and forth in front of the Samantha's TV. I had it on CNN while it was muted and they were reporting exactly the thing I feared. Massive murders taking place in Seattle.

"_Carlisle it's very important you answer all of my questions. Please?_

His tone turned from the jovial greeting to a serious one right away.

"_Okay Alice, what's going on?"_

"_Has anything unusual happened in Forks since I left?"_

" _Yes. The wolves have reported that they've caught a few new scents and Bella's said that she thinks someone has been in her room."_

Shit this is exactly what I did not want happening!

"_Okay. Um has anyone been watching the news lately and seeing what's been happening in Seattle?" _

"_Not really but Bella's told us that something has been happening there lately because they've has to call every cop in the state to cover something big that's going on."_

"_Shit! Carlisle I need you to gather everyone in the house and all of you need to watch the news right now."_

"_Ok honey but can you tell me why?"_

"_Carlisle it's very important you do this right now please." _

My pacing was increasing and I think I'm going to have to get Sam a new rug because I'm wearing a hole in this one. I could hear Carlisle call everyone else in the house to go to the living room. Within seconds I could hear the other's asking why they were gathered. Carlisle asked them to be quite for a few minutes and turned on the TV to the local news. I could hear the report in the background.

"_This has been the fortieth person who has been murdered of gone missing in Seattle in the last two months. Katie I gotta tell you a lot of people have been getting scared to leave their houses anymore because the attacks seem to come at random anytime of day or night. Seattle is gripped in fear right now as a massive killing spree seems to taking place. The only thing these people have in common is they seem to be either tourist of homeless people but not anyone someone could easily miss. The poli-"_

Someone had either cut off the TV or muted it. I could hear the others starting to talk in the background. It seems no one had known this was going on. What the hell have they been doing since I've been gone? Carlisle soon talked back to me on the phone.

"_Alice do you know what's going on?"_

"_Yeah. I'm pretty sure I do. I think someone is building a newborn army."_

Everyone else in the background exploded. A newborn army? We've never had to face anything like that before.

"_There's something else. I believe its Victoria who's doing it."_

"_But why?"_

"_Revenge. I believe she's still pissed over James."_

I could hear Emmett shout in the background.

"_Is there anything we can do honey?" _Carlisle asked me.

_Prepare to fight, get the Denali's if you can, and team use with the wolves. We're gonna need everybody."_

"_Ok" _he said firmly.

"_Carlisle you should have Jasper prepare all the strategies. But for now can you hand the phone to Edward?"_

"_Sure. I'll the others to my study. We'll have a discussion up there while you two talk."_

Soon I heard Edward come on.

"_What is it Alice? I should be with the others."_

"_I need to warn you though."_

"_What? What is it Alice? What's going on?"_

"_I had a vision of you. When you guys eventually fight Victoria's army, whatever you do don't take her on alone. Also get Bella the hell out of there the day before you fight."_

"_Why should I do that?"_

"_Because Edward she will kill you. And when she's finished she's going to kill Bella next. And that's exactly what she wants. To kill Bella. So can you please listen to me?"_

"_We can take care of Bella. She'll be safer with us. And I can take on Victoria. It's not like she's that strong."_

"_EDWARD! This woman has created an ARMY to take you guys out and you want to tell me she's not a THREAT? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?"_

"_Now that we know what she's up to we can take care of her. Don't worry about it."_

"_Edward Anthony Mason Cullen I just saw you death and you don't want to listen me? You can't do this to them. You can't do this to the family. And you especially can't do this to Bella. Don't you love any of them? What's-"_

He hung up on me. That bastard hung the fucking phone up on me. I'm trying to save his life and he's going to hang up on me? Fuck this there's only one thing I have left to do.

"_Samantha!"_

"_Yeah Alice?"_

_Seems like I'm not going to be staying here much longer. I have to go somewhere."_

"_Yeah? Where you going?"_

"_I'm going home. I'm going back to Forks."_

**A/N: Hey guys i need to ask you for a favor. I need at least ten people to tell me if Bella and Alice should be together again or if Alice deserves someone new (Name rhymes with Ham. All I'm gonna tell you) We've reached the crux of the story and it can go alot of ways from here on out. thanks.**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Well who says democracy has died? (Roughly over a billion people but let's ignore them for a second) The people have spoken! Alice and Bella will have their happy ending **_**after**_** their horrible middle. But you have to read this to get what I'm saying yes? And so with that I must say the show must go on! **

She's been staring at me since I arrived, and glaring at Sam since she walked in after me. This is so cute. My temptress is jealous of her fallen. Me. Little 'ole future seeing, fashion loving, need for speed me. I try not to smile since this a serious situation but its hard not to. Natalie on the other hand has been trying to molest me ever since I brought her sister her to Forks. I think I can safely say she's really happy. Or she wants me but I'm pretty sure Jasper can take care of his woman.

When I arrived I made it a point not to tell them I was coming so to say the family was surprised was an understatement.

_**Flashback**_

I pulled into the driveway with the speed of a NASCAR racer and the grace of none which is to say I far exceeded their interpretation of it.

The door to the house was flung open and Emmett was the first one out. If you ever want to see a vampire look like an owl this would be your point of reference. I turned off the car and stepped out. The speed in which my older brother approached me was hilarious.

"_Shorty!"_

I was promptly squashed, spun and thrown into the air though I'm not sure in which order. When the others came out of the house they all rushed to greet me. It was at this point that Sam decided to reveal herself. Natalie by the way owes me a new car because she crushed the hood of mine to get to her sister.

"_Sammy!"_

Again for future reference on owlish looking vampires this moment is one to be looked upon. The others stood their blinking around (not that we need to) as Natalie tried to kill her only relative through hugging. It's a good thing we're made of sterner stuff or at this point my good friend Sam would be dead (again) and I would be lonely yet again.

Esme at that point manhandled me into the house and Natalie dragged her sister in too. We all sat in the living room as everybody came to greet me and introduced themselves to Sam whom Natalie had yet to let go of. When the pleasantries were out of the way Esme and Carlisle became sober.

Carlisle as usual began.

"_Alice what are you doing here?"_

"_You guys need me. If I'm not here you will most assuredly lose this battle."_

He pointed at Samantha.

"_And her?"_

"_Have you forgotten what she can do?"_

If vampires could blush I'm sure my family could light a room decently enough. Only Natalie looked overwhelmingly excited.

"_Alice that's brilliant. Sis you're bloody brilliant."_

The others were looking at us for an explanation. I was going to answer when Natalie beat me to it.

"_She's an Elemental. I told you guys already. She can pretty much control the elements and therefore my lovely, brilliant sister can be our advantedge."_

"_What she said"_

To say they brightened would also be an understatement but alas progress. I'd notice that while the whole family was there Edward was decidedly missing. My guess was that he was with. Her. Jasper raised an eyebrow at me when he felt my mood drop but I shook my head and indicated we would talk later.

_**Flashback Ends**_

We've been here a while but Sam and I were hunting when Edward had decided to grace the family with his presence and with Bella in tow. She looked absolutely glowing when I walked into the room and positively miserable since Sam followed me in. I thought it was funny since there was nothing going on between me and Sam. Not that I haven't had offers but I was too bummed to really want to commit to anything or anybody else. Especially since I have yet to recover.

And now I get to sit through heaven and hell. The heaven of being near again and the hell of being near her also. Edward had asked why I'd come back to Forks.

"_To save your dumbass since you refuse to listen to me. But also to fight for the family. I refuse to lose the only one I've ever known."_

Emmett laughed loudly when I said that and he gave me a high five.

"_I missed having you around shorty. I missed having you around."_


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Hey's ya'll. my birthday was Friday i started this on Saturday finished yesterday wanted to post it yesterday too but was not getting a happy response from the site. so this is for you guys. My belated birthday celebration gift.** **And for the first time ever I've used a line break. so yeah. just skip that.**

Samantha and I were hunting in the woods. The other Cullen's had already gone their hunting trip and Edward couldn't find it in himself to detach himself from his fiancée to come join us. I was waiting in a clearing by a stream for Sam since I had already eaten. You know future seeing powers and all that. But I was also waiting on a call from Bella that I had seen coming in. The log I sat on had an interesting parade of insects this morning, the ants declaring a battle on everything else to protect their own interest. I pulled out my mobile just three seconds before the phone actually rung.

"_Hello. Vampire Sex Line Operator Speaking."_

It came out all breathy and low. I'll have to work on my sultriness a bit.

"_Alice. Stop playing around. I just wanna talk."_

I switched my voice into that of a busy business operator.

"_You've requested our Sexiest model yet. I'll see if she's available for your purposes…..no. Alice isn't available but may we direct you to your preferred choice, the vampire known as Edward?"_

"_Alice come on. Stop playing games. I know you said you wouldn't speak to me but can't we just talk?"_

"_We're sorry but the vampire known as Alice isn't available right now. She's a very busy girl and our most important talent. We're sorry but we have to end this transaction right now. For this session you won't be charged but each call afterwards will be $9.99. Goodbye_

"I think she may be trying to kill me. Why else would she call to talk about _**that**_ with Edward always around unless she wants to kill me?"

Samantha was looking at me in amusement. I knew she want to laugh her ass off but for now she'd hold back unlike like some friggin' gigantic vampires out there that I could mention.

"Well you know life may be good but death is not without it merits. I mean look at us. We're dead but we're more alive than ever. Though who knows if we'll ever join the eternal sleep?"

I blinked at her. "Sammy? What The Fuck are you talking about?"

She looked at me sheepishly. "Sorry been alone for almost five decades. I tend to forget not to go off into my little tangents. Anywho back to you and yours, look Alice you know the exact truth of the situation. So does Edward but would you risk that delicious bum of yours to get her? Could you willingly kill your brother, who by the way you came here to save, could you my little pixie friend kill your brother in the name of love? I have no doubt that Edward has no such convictions but could you, yourself do the same to him? The question comes down to this really; would you possibly alienate yourself from the Cullen's, and kill Edward all in the name of love? Could you Alice?

I ran my finger through my hair as I leaned against the log to contemplate it. It's not like I _**haven't **_ thought about it in all the time I was gone, it's just before I figured I wouldn't be confronted by this question as she made sure to rip my heart to pieces when she declared she loved Edward. But since I've come back she's been looking at me like she'd make the biggest mistake by letting me go. And now she's calling me. What the fuck? _**She told me**_ in no uncertain terms that she loved Edward. What does she want with me now?

"It's not that I have no compulsions about killing Edward. I would gladly, many times over for what he's done. It's the fact that I would most likely lose _**them**_ that makes me hesitant. I'm sure Jazzy and Nat would join me since they know and understand but it's the rest of them that's got me in a bind and I don't know what'd I'd do if I lost the rest of them. If I was sure she loved me back I'd gladly give them up but she doesn't so why would I fight anything now? It's better if I just swoop in, save the day then swoop out again before any of them get to me. I love them but I'd give them up for _**her **_if she only loved me. Ya know?"

"Slightly. But not from the victor's point of view. No. I do know what family leaving is like since Natalie left me to join you guys for Jasper. But I don't mind because I know that she'll be happy for the rest of eternity. So I'm ok with it. But Ali, your family is intense and the reaction would most likely be intense as well."

"Eh, I won't allow my jealousy to make me leave but my heartbreak is what keeps me from coming back."

She fixed me with a sultry look with an eyebrow raised. "I could fix that for you."

I laughed. "And you can stop getting pickup lines from children books and just be my local vampire therapist for now"

She gave me the dreaded pout but I kept on laughing. At least right now I can stop focusing on my problem...

**A/N: next chappie it's the pov of the main B.I.T.C.H herself Bella. dunno when that's coming but be warned.**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Well this is what i could squeeze out. this is my first piece of writing since turning 19 so congrats to me. This is in Bella's POV so enjoy. The next chapter will be in her POV too so this isn' the last we hear from her. **

**BPOV**

I'm a liar. I'm the best kind of liar too. I'm the type of liar that will lie to themselves. Everything up to now has been a lie. I knew that and she knew it too. I told her I didn't love her. I told her I loved him. But those two sentences have never been farther from the truth.

When I first came to Forks the first Cullen I ever really noticed was her. I was enraptured. I was slightly obsessed and I fought with myself because I refused to believe I would ever have her. When Edward said he wanted me I went with it because I really never believed she'd love me the way I wanted. I grew affectionate for Edward but I never really loved him. When they left I cried every night over her. Jacob tried to help but I could never tell him the real reason. Everyone thought I was broken over Edward but that was a lie. The one thing that I'm really good at.

When I went cliff-diving and she came back for me I thought maybe I really did die. Why would she ever come back for me when she couldn't even face me when she left? But we talked and we kissed and hugged we loved. And then they came back. And HE proposed. Could I say no? The rest thought I loved him but I knew the truth. And deep down I feel so did she. When she told me she love me I wanted to say it back. But there was everyone else to think about. I couldn't be 100% selfish and break their hearts too. So I lied. I lied and I broke both of our hearts. And she left me. I knew why. But I couldn't.

xxxxxxxLine Breakxxxxxxxx

I was moping in my room. Missing Alice, and lying to myself. I had to make myself believe what I said or else I would never be able to face any of them ever again.

"Hello Bella..:"

Startled I looked up. Natalie was sitting in front of me and Jasper was sitting on the bed. Fucking vampires. I couldn't even tell when they snuck up on me.

"Yes?"

They looked at each other and I guess they decided on who should talk because Jasper was the one to speak next.

"We know."

"We know what?" I asked them confused.

"About you. And Alice."

"Oh"

"Really is that all you have to say?"

"What do you want me to say? Am I supposed to wax soliloquy about our great love or something?"

This time Natalie spoke.

"That's what we hoped for. We were hoping that you really aren't a cold-hearted bitch who was toying around with our Alice but I guess we were wrong. You're deader on the inside than we are if you can do that to her and not feel anything about it."

"I wish could tell you, you were right but you're wrong. I do feel someway about it. I love her too but what about Edward? What about the rest of you guys. I don't want hurt everybody."

"But you can hurt Alice?"

"No. But I don't want to lose anybody. Is that so hard to understand? When you guys left I felt I had lost myself. And I don't want to feel like that again. No matter how much I love Alice."

Jasper broke in. "You love Alice?"

I nodded. "For the world."

They looked at each other again. I really hate when couples do couplespeak where they have a whole conversation with their eyes. Jasper gave Natalie a nod. Finally they turned back to me. Jasper put his hand on my shoulder.

"Bella. Why didn't you say it back to her? Why did you lie? Were you really that afraid of the family's reaction?"

I nodded. He laughed at me. "Bella honey me and Natalie would have supported you. I have a feeling so would Rose and Emmett. Esme and Carlisle only care about the happiness of their children. So to speak. The only one you'd have to worry about is Edward and I can tell you this, you really shouldn't give a damn about his feelings. He doesn't care about anyone but himself."

I was shocked to hear him say this to say the least. Natalie grabbed my wrist. "Bella he's right. Edward is a selfish bastard. Do you want to know why we say that?" I nodded. Jasper took over again. He turned me towards him and looked me right the eyes.

"Bella. Hun listen to me carefully when I say this. Edward is not your mate. Alice is."

I was shocked. I wasn't Edward's mate? But he told me I was.

"What do you mean?"

Jasper smiled at me. "I love the fact you treat us normally and forget what we are. I'm an empath. Don't you think I'd know the difference between a mate and a not mate? When Alice looks at you it feels like her whole world is completed. Like how I feel when I see Natalie or when Emmett sees Rosalie. We feel complete.

Here he frowned as it looked like something nasty had just traveled up his nose. "When Edward looks at you all I can get is Obsession and Hunger. Why do you think I don't like being near the two of you together? I can feel his hunger and how he just wants to drain you dry. It's not healthy the way the feels and none of what he feels is love. Just obsession."

To say I was shocked was an understatement. I felt numb. _I made the wrong choice!_ Was all that was going through my head as I sat on the bed frozen. Remembering how Alice made me feel everytime I was around her compared to how I felt around Edward and how now all I felt was suffocated. I fucked up. Bad.


End file.
